Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary – Author Unknown

March 14th, 2008

DOG DIARY

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow– but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

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“Missing the point” gets taken to a whole new level…

January 4th, 2008

Over the Christmas/New Years break, my 7-year-old son, Alex, was introduced to an online game called Toontown. He was having a bit of trouble with dropped connections to the server, and I speculated that there might be a more players online than their server can handle.

Later that evening, I was reading an article about the One Laptop Per Child project (olpc.org) and the interviewee stated that fewer than half the children in the world have electricity in the home. I like to encourage the kids to be grateful for what they have, so I called Alex in and presented this statistical nugget with the expectation that his horizons and understanding of world issues would broaden.

He thought for a second or two, got a very serious look on his face and said, “Hey, Dad. You know what this means?” I waited expectantly for the thoughtful insight of my future Nobel price winner. “If only half the kids in the world have electricity, the problem with Toontown can’t be to many people on the server. It would have to be some other reason.”

Oh, well. I hope those tickets to Sweden are refundable! :-)

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God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

June 22nd, 2007

I’ve not read this book, just the title. Already, though, I can point out a major flaw in the author’s reasoning. The author assumes that the two statements are related, implying that since (from his perspective) religion poisons everything, God is therefore not great.

But do the actions of humans determine God’s greatness? You would have to begin with the assumption that God is nothing more than a sociological phenomenon created to satisfy human wants and needs; purely an extension of created by humans. Unfortunately for the author, categorically disproving the existence of something (in this case, God) is pretty tricky stuff. At best, you can claim that “Based on my experience and all credible evidence I’ve seen …” Of course, if you only consider evidence to be credible when it supports your hypothesis, you’re practicing delusion, not logic. Another approach would be to say, “I’ve not seen any evidence to support …” Even so, that leaves room for the existence of all manner of things that are outside of your perception.

My experiences (real or imagined) have left me with the distinct belief that there is a God who is an actual being, though quite different in nature from us. I’m humble enough to admit that I could be wrong, though, and what I call personal anecdotal evidence is nothing more than false perception and misunderstanding. I don’t see how, which is what forms my belief, but admit the possibility.

Along those lines, I’ve observed that atheists fall into one of two categories: those who lack of credible evidence (implicit atheists), and those who are unwilling to believe (deliberate atheists). A person could also be both (have no evidence, and would reject it even it they did). I’ve noticed that deliberate atheists tend to get very emotional when debating God/religion, and practice logically inconsistent thinking that they would never practice or accept in any other context. Bertrand Russell is one who comes to mind. In most cases, atheists who categorically reject the possibility of God as a sentient being are deliberate atheists.

The funny thing is that believers fall into the same two categories, for the same reasons. And they react in much the same way. When they run out of rational arguments, they reach for the next ones in line. Rather than examining their own experience and evidence, they launch attacks on others’.

Rather than saying that religion poisons everything, I would assert that the deliberate element in any religion (or anti-religion) has the tendency to poison things. Meanwhile, the implicit elements sit down for a nice dinner with stimulating conversation and respectful debate. At the end of the night, they evaluate what they’ve learned and perhaps tune their own position … or not. Either way, they see their beliefs as the path of their discoveries thus far rather than a direction for future conquest.

Oh, and when humans do stupid things, blame the humans, not God.

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Office 2.0 database

April 6th, 2007

I ran across a really cool site today: http://o20db.com/.

It’s basically a site that aggregates all kinds of web-based productivity applications.  An excellent resource for finding new online tools that can actually help you accomplish things.  (Amazing concept, no?)

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I resolve…

April 6th, 2007

… to blog more often.  :-)

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Humans can be so stupid…

October 18th, 2006

I had a disappointing experienced the other day. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me since I generally surround myself with non-bigots, so my life tends to be a bit insulated, but still.

I was at the Texas state fair with my family, and my daughter and I were in line to get on one of the rides. A Hispanic gentleman and his wife/GF explained in somewhat broken English that their two sons were already in line, and they were asking if they could pass so that all four could ride together. I had no problem with that, so I motioned him on. I could see the two kids, hear them talking, etc. Clearly, they were together.

As soon as the couple passed out of earshot, the guy in front of me turns back and asked if I had actually seen the kids they were going to join. He said that the man was looking down at the ground and smiling like he was getting away with something. I assured him that I had seen the kids further in the line, and that I speak Spanish and understood the conversation. The guy proceeds to explain the rationale behind his skepticism by telling me, “First they jump across the border illegally, and then they want to jump to the front of the line.”

I said, “Uhhhhh. Wellll.” I know. Rather and eloquent response, eh? First, I couldn’t think where to begin. Then, I realized that there wasn’t really any point in beginning. What I wanted to ask was:

  • “If you were living in another country, and you knew that life for you and your family would be significantly better if you came here, even illegally. Wouldn’t you?”
  • “How do you know he’s not here legally?”
  • “Can you really correlate illegal border crossing with line jumping at state fairs?”

Is a little bit of thought too much to ask for?

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The Tantrum

October 9th, 2006

I want to do it my own way!
It doesn’t matter what you say.
I do not care about the cost,
or other things that might be lost.
Yes, it’s selfish. Yes, its rude.
If you were like me, you would, too!

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Dear Janet

July 25th, 2006

Sometimes I’m crazy, and sometimes a fool.
I’m likely to trip and perhaps even drool.
My mouth has a space that just fits my foot.
My plans go awry and then groan “kaput”.
Through all of my clumsiness, please don’t despair!
I’ll love you forever and always be there.

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I live inside my head

June 21st, 2006

I live inside my head. It’s where I work and play.
I use my eyes to see the world, or push it all away.
My ears sit right there on each side to catch a passing sound,
and when I want to change the scene, I push my feet around.

I also have a nose that works to tell me what’s nearby.
It warns me when there’s smoke or stink or something tasty to try.
It helps my mouth and toungue as they identify my food.
I also use my mouth to speak, though my words aren’t always good.

I have these things called arms and hands that let me touch and feel.
They sometimes hurt or help or build, and sometime even heal.
They let me come outside my head and move my world around.
They let me hug and break and bend, or make a fist to pound.

I live inside my head. “How lonely!”, you might say.
It’s not so bad, so lonely, so sad. It’s where I work and play!

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Christmas Letters now online

June 16th, 2006

Every now and then I get family members asking if I still have holiday letters that I’ve written. I finally got around to digging them up and posting them (to the right). It was cool reading back through them and remembering how different things were even a few years ago.

Well, enjoy!

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